Earl, fall 2017
Just sending A message of gratitude for my experience with you and Robyn at Mountain Waters Retreat in Nelson last fall. It was a different and unique experience and was fairly dark to deal with but it was the truth and I needed to see the truth of my life from the healing Iboga. One of my visions showed me how I was leading my life with fear and it will always hold me back and nothing will change if I don’t break that cycle. I was in a real rut and dark place from Sept till March but I remembered that the medicine works for quite a while after and it help me have some major realiztions about myself that I don’t think I would have changed if it wasn’t for this 2nd retreat with you guys. I know I was a very depressed empty shell of a human being when I was there but you guys showed me what it is to be true to myself and love myself. So from the bottom of my heart and the core of my soul..Thank You so much. We may see you in the future for more healing Cheers
Amy, spring 2018
I wanted to let you all know how wonderful I have been since I've been back home with my family. I feel fantastic, and my husband and even my kids can see what a difference there is within me. I can't thank you all enough for your help with bringing me back to an amazing life from here on out with my family. I am forever grateful for the opportunity that you let me be a part of
If you want answers, you get answers!
About 95% of the time ‘the problem is not the problem’. Iboga will easily cut through the clutter and nonsense to give you your very own personalized answers to your most pressing issues that need to be resolved – and that’s just the beginning.
If you feel like you want to turn your life around then this is a very good place to start. Mark and Robyn will support and guide you the entire way. They and their support team are wonderful and are always there for you, and so it becomes very natural for you to let go, revaluate, and move forward in the direction that’s healthy and fulfilling for you.
FYI, the food was just right – and at times even fantastic.
So, I just got back from my first Iboga Ceremony. I have experienced many other Plant Medicines and Ceremonies in the past and all I can say is I had no idea at all how powerful this would be. I am not saying this medicine is better than that medicine, I think I was just finally ready to let it all go...
Let it go
let it all go
down the river of the past...
don't look back
Embrace your life and yourself with passion and unapologetic freedom to be YOU!
Blessings to all people who have embraced the deep study of living life and living in TRUTH.
I do not entirely understand the intricate work behind the scenes that brought these two humans into my path and mine into theirs, but I'm letting that go and just honouring the fact that I absolutely love them whole heartedly and the work that they do for the struggling souls of this world. SO MUCH PURE LOVE. #ibogasoul #cosmiclove #galacticposse #summer17#journeytothesoul
Just sending an email to check in… and let you know that things are going so well for me. Just.. in a way that i honestly and whole heartedly feel like i have started a new chapter in my life, and healed so much of my past. Things that i ‘knew’ but just couldn’t seem to really ‘get’ all of a sudden seem so truthful to me. So a lot of things that just couldn’t work for me before are now finally working…. I am able to take a whole new stance on my eating disorder, as in I feel like I’m a step ahead of it, and it is making a huge difference. And SLEEP — i think one of the greatest gifts Iboga gave me was SLEEP. I am falling asleep and staying asleep without any supplements. I also have this new found confidence… I have found my voice because I just don’t care so much about what others think of me. it’s so refreshing.
Miss you lots and sending you lots of love.
My name is Anita. I came to IbogaSoul to help me heal myself of addiction in the sphere of dependancy and fear of abandonment. The process has totally rewired my brain. I recently felt these things leave.
It was a very profound experience and life changing as well. The care provided here was wonderful. Mark is on an awesome facilitator. If I ever do Iboga again it will be here.
Hello everyone. Hello Mark and Robyn.
This is Robin. I am thankful for this experience. I came here, frustrated, full of grief, angry, angry and reactive.
I am leaving here with hope and peace.
I literally had a lightning bolt zap through me.
I feel clear, happy and full of hope!
After my first ceremony I immediately woke up with an inner "sunshine" and a smile, with the realization that " I am happy." Really happy.
Thank you all,
Robin : )
Mark and Robyn are skilled at what they do! If you feel called to work with Iboga to help detox, heal emotional trauma or for a psycho spiritual journey, then I highly recommend them as Iboga providers.
I just got back home from a one week retreat with the Iboga plant medicine in West Vancouver and I want to let you know that it has brought me back to life in a miraculous fashion! It has transformed me in such a majestic way, it is the best thing I have ever done for myself and every human would benefit tremendously from such an encounter.
Iboga holds the key to life and can clean and reset your body, mind and heart so profoundly, I cannot imagine having continued living the way I was. I have gained a completely new perspective on myself and life. Life is not a burden anymore, its a gift, it loves you more than you can fathom...we dont see it when we live in trauma because we are disconnected from our soul. I have literally retrieved my soul and fused with it. It is a feeling that cannot go away because now, I dont believe...I KNOW. And we cannot "unknow" something.
I have such a profound respect and compassion for the girl I have been all my life, braving life with so little tools, carrying the heavy unconscious burden of 12 years of horror that were my introduction to life. If I can heal from the worst form of traumas I can imagine, everyone can heal and start their life again, its never too late! In fact, its especially never too early if you really want it and refuse to settle for less than bliss. It is so simple in the end! All you need is YOU!
Reaching unconditional love and forgiveness for yourself changes everything!
An Iboga ceremony lasts 24hrs...its a major challenge, lol. I had 2 of those over a week. It was worth every second I suffered through it (what is 48 hrs compared to 37 years!!!!) and I am fascinated by life now.
The treatment is $4500 and it was all the money I had, but I knew my life was on the line and I now laugh at the worry I had to pay so much for what could be just another attempt.
It was worth everything I have ever possessed in my whole life.
To any of you who still feel stuck and are seeking for the answer, well I cant imagine Iboga not accomplishing a mind blowing shift in your healing process.
If you are ready to face yourself and accept that the way you think is keeping you in darkness at this point, you will move on with the help of Iboga.
To reset your mind patterns is a primordial step that makes it possible to create anew from there and quit being sabotaged by a polluted outlook on yourself and life.
I now have the choice to shush the old beliefs that show up, with compassion and poise. I have never felt this empowered before.
I feel honored to share this testimonial with you. If you feel a call to take the journey, visit Ibogasoul.com and take the leap!!!
Get re-introduced to life and yourself! Iboga is an intelligence of galactic proportions. It knows every cell and thought that you are and can guide you right back to the original happiness you are meant to live by...joy and beauty becomes a real thing, not just an idea of what it should be like. Im excited to discover which ways I will find to experience nature's playground.
Its like I really see the landscape around me for the first time when before, I
kept feeling like there was something missing in my ability to perceive and benefit from the beauty I was looking at, like a gorgeous sunset for example.
I am conscious of the magic now and I will always cherish the kindling in my heart that kept me alive until I could find my way out of illusion and into life itself to experience this new found feeling of simply being. There is nothing to accomplish, its only about being! Life expects nothing from you, it is everything already, it is you and it is complete by living through you. It created you just to be happy and celebrate its marvelous and colorful creations, and wherever you are now in your understanding you can get to feel the way you want to feel once you truly meet with undeniable TRUTH and apply yourself with the all encompassing intelligent help of Iboga medicine. Let it infuse you with the codes of nature, with trust and respect, it will not fail you.
Everything you need comes from life, everything you want comes from life...and YOU ARE LIFE! You matter to every single thing around you. You ARE everything!
Love a blade of grass and you love yourself...
Simplify your quest, take this shortcut, you deserve it!
All my love to you.
Be kind and patient to yourself, you made it all the way here through a thick fog...its grandioso!
Théa Flower February 2017
I came Feb 18th 2017 from Vancouver Island. I was a junkie at the end of her game. Addicted to heroin, meth, pills etc. I surely wanted a chance to start over again Iboga definitely gave me that and so much more. I was so disconnected from myself, I didn't love me. Now I do. I met my soul and we used our bright sun, our bright light, to clean out all the darkness in me. My life of buried dark secrets are finally gone. I no longer have anxiety, depression or oppression of any kind and I can honestly say "I love myself" for the first time. I love my soul! I saw my dogs and cats and ancestors. My heart is full of love now and gratitude <3 <3
Thank you for saving me Mark, Anthony, Robyn and Phoenix, love you all!!
I came into IbogaSoul with the intent to quit alcohol and cigarettes and have succeeded!
I didn’t know what to expect at first, but after the first ceremony I became aware of what it did to me and how it could significantly change my understanding of my tobacco and alcoholism problem. The first ceremony during the journey I still wanted a cigarette. I no longer craved alcohol though. I realized if I had a cigarette I’d just be back here in ten minutes wanting again, and that there is this option to actually change to outcome of our current circumstances. I had some real memories of circumstances I had been blocking out with alcohol and cigarettes. I realize I was blocking out the problem with more problems. I realize that is my problem now and I can’t ignore it and pretend it’s ‘okay’ because it will create worse circumstances in my future.
Today I will live life sober and accepting that I don’t want problems. I know that will only be solved with diligence. Thanks for the two ceremonies, thanks for having me and thanks for al the kind wishes and positive outlook!
I attended the week long psycho-spiritual retreat hosted by IbogaSoul and the experience has made a strong positive impact on my life.
As an intellectually and spiritually curious person, I had always wanted to experience something as profound as an Iboga ceremony. Yet I had always procrastinated. Over the past few years, as my life grew increasingly hectic yet isolating, I became unhappy, felt the urge to reconnect with myself/others and needed to heal from past negative experiences. Iboga did those for me.
With the guidance of the IbogaSoul team, I was able to heal, let go of my emotional baggage, and gain a level of self-acceptance and understanding which I had NEVER felt before. Physically, I feel great as well; the mild asthma I had had for 4 years is mostly gone and I have more energy than I did in years.
In addition to the physical and mental healing aspect, I found the living accommodations very satisfying. The whole retreat was held in a private and relaxing atmosphere and others who also attended the retreat turned out to be great companies. I had made quite a few friends this experience and I intend to keep in touch with them in the time to come.
Truly grateful for the experience, Thank you guys!
- Max May 2016
I had struggled with anxiety all my life. Even when I felt at my best, there was always an underlying, low frequency anxiety about disappointing people, failing them, saying something wrong, offending them… No matter what, some chunk of my mental energy, whether aware or not, was always going into this. Not any more.. I am so grateful! I had my first two journeys at a centre that has since closed in Costa Rica where Mark and Robyn were working. My third journey was in Canada with IbogaSoul in early 2015. They helped me delve deeper into where fear resided in my sub consciousness and helped me bring it up to my consciousness. My life is slowly changing. I used to have a recurring dream where I would be driving a car but there would be fog and I would not see anything as I drove. The brakes would not work or my eyes would be closed and I could not open them as I drove the car. I had no control. Always waiting for the collision. 6 months after my last journey I had a closure to this dream series: I was driving a car again but this time in full control; a flood of water came towards me and somehow I managed to turn the car around confidently and avoid disaster. In short, in my dream I saw myself as the best driver in the world. No more of the other dream. This resonates in my life as well.
- Love always, Tulin
Follow Up Testimonial from second session with IbogaSoul: This is my second visit to IbogaSoul after two years. I came because there was something I wanted in my life and no matter what I did, which way I turned something was blocking it from happening. I came to IbogaSoul to look for insight and understand if it was me who stopped it, or it was something deep down I actually did not want it, or something else... I was able to look into my own self and see where I have been blocked. It was not easy but a whole lot easier than the internal struggles and doubts I have gone through over the years. The insights I have obtained through my journey with Iboga combined with the guidance I received from Mark is so valuable to me. I walk along my path, healing and more sure and more connected everyday. With much love and respect. - Tulin
The preparation for the ceremony in itself was something I appreciated. The night I arrived was mainly sharing conversation and more background about how Robyn and Mark connected with Moughenda and the Bwiti. On the day of the ceremony I spent about 3 hrs doing yin yoga and pranayama with Robyn and Mark’s house mate Lola, a certified yoga instructor. I also enjoyed a last final breakfast and lunch before the ceremony knowing I would not be eating much until the night after. One of my highlights as well was gathering river water from nearby and using that water for a ritual bath to let go of things I did not want to bring with me into ceremony and bring in what I wanted to have with me. In November 2014 I had my first iboga ceremony facilitated by Robyn and Mark of Iboga Soul at their home in Squamish BC. I did one ceremony which is mainly a detox when you take it the first time but felt lots of things move for me and felt great afterwards. It helped I think to prepare in a good way and eat healthy in advance as well as practice sexual abstinence .
As a former facilitator at the Iboga Therapy House years ago I had yet to experience a large dose of Iboga, only a stimulating dose. So for me this was a big continuation of a journey I began years ago, something I had been waiting for and had felt that needed to be deeply rooted in the Bwiti tradition it comes from in Gabon, Africa. Indeed it was explained to me that the ceremony we’d be doing would never encompass the full experience that one has in Gabon with the Bwiti, not here in North America with so few initiated Bwiti available to support that. What I was going to go into was thus considered a pre-initiation. That subtle re-frame means a lot to me as someone who is sensitive to cultural appropriation and wishing to honor the tradition that these holy medicines come from. It meant a lot to me when they shared the story of the origins of the medicines discovery by the Pigmy indigenous people of the forest and how it became a Bwiti tradition and that what was being shared was directly as taught by the Bwiti with nothing taken out and nothing added. It meant a lot to me especially that the Iboga medicine was directly coming from the Bwiti who are sharing this ceremony beyond their land and that Iboga Soul is thus supporting their community financially. This is especially important given what is known about the unsustainable nature of the majority of Iboga harvesting. Even with its hope of being made more available through what is being done by Dennis McKenna I personally would rather support the Bwiti however possible and connect with its ancient land of origin.
Indeed the Bwiti were a prominent part of the entire experience and it dawned on me that this might be the ideal way to be initiated into their culture coming from Turtle Island. Learning more about them here and what is possible to connect with there. I know for the most part that it’s a wild goose chase to just land in Gabon and seek out a place for initiation and that for the most part one needs to be fluent in french to be able to communicate there. With Moughenda ,a relatively young 10th generation Bwiti, and fluent English speaking initiate being the contact between worlds and instructing facilitators like Robyn and Mark I felt like I was being privy to a lineage that had roots. Having met Moughenda years ago on his visit to the Unceded Coast Salish Territories and had him as a guest speaker in one of my Evolver Spore events I already had a sense of him as a person coupled with accounts of him and his work since then.
Perhaps it’s because I prayed to the Bwiti and to the land where the medicine grows or maybe it’s just how it flowed but I most definitely felt the connection with that part of Africa which was deeply special to me. I couldn’t help but think about it as connecting with the origins of the human race. I kept inwardly telepathically sending an introduction of myself to the Bwiti and the Iboga plant deva as I waited for the medicine to kick in. When it did I had visions of the Bwiti throughout my ceremony and felt like they were coming to look upon me several times with faces emerging and peeking in on me. I saw images of wild boar, monkeys and birds from the jungle.
It meant a lot to me that there was the balance of male and female energy supporting me in the facilitation provided by Robyn and Mark. I felt engaged with by both of them and well cared for throughout. I think there’s something to be said for ceremonies being led by people who hold a deep love for each other and shared sense of purpose and life path. I know I was nervous going into the ceremony, especially with having asthma. Thankfully I seem to do well with the medicine. It was good at the same time that they weren’t far from the hospital and had been in contact with their medical staff to inform them of what they were doing. I’m glad they’ll be continuing to maintain the due diligence around health considerations for people in this field that has is known for its risks. For me a true rite of passage isn’t about removing all the risks but that is still important for the protection of this work in Canada.
I feel fortunate to experience the work being done by Iboga Soul in its early stages and look forward to watching them grow. They feel like people I want to be connected with for a long time and who knows, perhaps some day I will make it to Gabon as well. The notion definitely felt more tangible after my ceremony. I feel confident in recommending to any loved one the work being done by Iboga Soul especially for psycho-spiritual purposes. I can imagine that their care and benefit to those seeking them for addiction purposes would also be very beneficial though I think that anyone unwilling to connect with this plant spiritually may not appreciate the ritualistic elements as much. For me, respect for the medicine is important and thus I think Iboga Soul most benefits people who connect with the notion that we do have souls and are ready to communicate with it. May this work continue in a good way and help those ready to be helped. I especially would like to see if help the indigenous people of Turtle Island. Long live the Pigmy, the Bwiti, the iboga, and Iboga Soul! Gratitude to Robyn and Mark and Moughenda and especially the holy wood. - Courtesy of Sobey Wing January 2015
Your Presence as a provider was clear, centered, and powerful. My partner’s life really has noticeably changed for the better even though she didn’t have any big issues to deal with. Thank You for being part of the resonant field that allows for unlimited possibilities.
- Finn October 2015
Hi Mark and Robyn I just wanted to write to wholeheartedly thank you for the Feb 8th session I attended.
I was so impressed by the extremely helpful, precious and professional resource and service you provide. Since returning, I’ve attended a one week session and the Zen teacher here (Eshin) believes my Squamish experience has contributed to some definite positive shift for me.
I’ll definitely be recommending anyone else who could benefit to you and am very grateful I met you.
- Sincerely, Martina February 2015
Dear Mark and Robyn,
Yesterday, during our drive to the bus station, Robyn told me a story about her relationship with her soul. She said that every time she looks into a mirror she knows that her soul is there smiling back at her.
Here is my story.
On the bus to Vancouver, being very tired, I was dozing trying to get some sleep. Then I had a vision of a bird landing on a cliff that was in front of me.I asked: “What is your name,” and the bird became a rooster who started singing . I asked: “Do you want me to wake up?” He nodded and gave me a sign with his head to follow him. He turned again into the bird and we started flying along the cliff above a sea. Then the bird became a boy and caught up with him, as I wanted to see his face. He was I when I was about 7-8 years old.
I asked him: Branko, is that you?
The boy answered: Yes.
Are you my soul?
He said yes and asked: “Why did you leave me?”
I answered, “you have been always with me”, and immediately took his hand and continued flying with him. Then I hugged him and asked “Do you want to stay now with me?”
The boy answered: Yes.
Now I feel like I received my childhood innocence back. - Thank you guys. Branko
I gave it everything I had to fix myself. I kicked my drug habit and got off the needle, I gave up booze, I moved up into the mountains, got my dream job and yet still I wanted to die. To not feel the pain. Though I had tried to get help many times, it was beyond modern medicine to help me. I struggle for a frame of reference for the Iboga ceremony. I think I just went into my mind and forged new connections. I think that new thing in my head is a feeling called ‘happy’. I find myself running and dancing again exuberant in celebration of life for the first time! I can now silence my mind of the cravings, the doubts, the guilt, the hate. I see beauty and want to create art again. Where I only had yesterday I now have tomorrow.
- Joe September 2014
I came to this experience with no experience with psychedelics at all and a small amount of self understanding. Mark provided a completely safe environment for me to take this journey. I now know the root cause of some of my issues and also how to deal with them. I'm so fortunate to have had this experience with IbogaSoul.
A beautiful setting, medical support and great food! I can't think of a better way to have done this.
Thank you Mark and Bette!
-Monica October 19, 2016
Haileyʼs Journey Into Healing
May I start by saying that Iʼve been through a miraculous experience!
Recently, I visited Mark and Robyn of Ibogasoul and they guided me through my first Iboga Journey. I am forever changed for the better and for that I am eternally grateful. ” My life to that date had been packed full of abusive trauma, starting from childhood, then turning into a self inflicted, alcohol induced stupor in young adulthood. I had been in shackles from an array of abuse as a child following into adulthood stemming from the age of 9 being sexually molested. For over two decades I held on to the immense anguish that arose from that horrifying experience, along with the continuation of it all. I have had the desire to break the vicious cycle of self loathing and depression but didnʼt know how. All the counselling in the world was not helping me one bit. I finally answered the call of my soul. I was beyond ready for true healing deep down.
When I arrived at Ibogasoul, I wasnʼt sure what to expect. My true intuition was leading me to Mark and Robyn and I knew it was for good reason. Iʼve always had faith that everything happens in itʼs right time. It was time! Iboga came into my life at the perfect moment.
Lately, Iʼve been manifesting a breakthrough in life. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and let be. Iboga has broken through my barriers and shown me the truth Iʼve been hiding from myself for over 20 years. The truth being that I am strong, beautiful, and worthy of unconditional love.
It all started with a list questions that Iʼve been wondering inside my soul about for some time now. We reviewed them briefly a short time after I arrived. We then partook in a lovely meal together that Robyn had prepared for us. After reflection time, we all had a nice stroll through the forest to gather river water for a spiritual shower. The spiritual shower we would have later to rid of faults and mistakes of the past and set positive intention for the present and future, and for the journey itself. What a beautiful way to honour yourself where you are and where youʼre coming from before you embark on a cosmic spiritual endeavour.
“We then returned to our rooms to reflect in silence and solitude before we enter the realm. My heart was fluttering from all the butterflies in my tummy. I knew I was about to go on the ride of my life. I really had no idea!
“The time had come. We were called out to the common area to sit in a circle to fellowship together with a candle burning in the middle where we reflected on the meaning of life, friendship, and love. We heard stories of some of the background of Iboga and how it came to be. This introduction to the ceremony helped me feel a lot more comfortable and was breaking down the slight worry and uncertainty that my ego was trying to convince me of. We started to partake in the African root bark of Iboga. We were bonding through spirit at this stage and it was extremely reassuring.
“Mark and Robyn then introduced us to the flame before us. The fire was playing a huge part in the warm energy of the experience. It was then that I connected on a deep level with the fire and it also connected me with the earth, wind, and water simultaneously. The Gabonese jungle tribe music Mark had put on for us to listen and connect with was very lovely and the flame started dancing to it. I felt it was reading into my on a deep level and started to feel right at home.
“We were in fellowship once more. After a few minutes I got pretty warm and felt the urge to purge. Iʼm glad it was over quickly. Mark then laid me down on my bed in the living room where I began to see patterns and colors on the ceiling. The journey had begun! I was ready to be guided by Iboga to the other side with the assistance of the lovely Robyn. She did a wonderful job of starting me off the right foot. She brought me to gorgeous places where my spirit resides and I confronted my soul. We also went to places that were not so pretty, but it was all part of the healing that I so desperately needed. We came to a place of forgiveness, self love, and faith in a bright future full of wholeness and prosperity. Robyn so skillfully guided me through the list of questions I needed answers for. I faced my truth. How cleansing. How truly marvellous it is to have wings to fly away from the chains of lies and despair that were drowning me.
“After the answers were received from my soul, Robyn concluded the segment of the journey and we gave each other a big squeeze. I feel like a different person. The pain and isolation had dissipated. Whole again.
“Robyn then instructed me to lay down and continue on in my journey. It is less than easy to describe in such little words the incredible visions, colors, and patterns I saw. Iboga showed me many things, but one I must point out is the two sides of myself that I had to choose upon. It showed me what Iʼm like as a party girl. Wasted and falling over. Then it showed me my full potential. Shining my light bright for all to see, hear, and feel through music and being myself.
“I saw the cycle of life in which we all are one in harmony with nature like cogs of a clock when we all work as a team. Iboga showed me the light at the end of the tunnel and I shot straight for it. The light being within. It was like a carousel of images about my life and what I truly desire for the present and future. I went to a place of peace within my soul. This went on until dawn.
“When I saw the light of day I got so excited for the rest of my life like a child on Christmas morning. Life had begun anew.
“By early morning I was able to sit up and enjoy some watermelon, apple, and hot tea brought to me. My physical body wanted sleep, but my spirit was so overjoyed to the point of a perma-smile on this face:) I felt the need to talk Robynʼs ear off about how delightful the experience really was. We bonded our kindred spirits. Our time together really helped me reflect on what I had seen and to make sense of it all. At one point during our dinner preparation, we had gotten on to the topic of true, unconditional love in which we were talking about the special one in our lives. As we went on, Robyn pulled out a perfectly heart shaped potato out of the bag! We were both extremely charmed by the serendipitous synchronicity. There are no coincidences.
“After dinner, I finally felt the need for sleep. Before I could do so, I sat alone and wrote down key visions from the Iboga Journey and the messages I had received from the spirit world. I feel I can now move forward with a new life force within me with love and respect for myself and others.
It was the first day of the rest of my life! I am so blessed to have gone on this beautiful journey of self discovery, and am honoured to have shared it with Mark and Robyn of IBOGASOUL.
Thank you for showing me the way and lending an ear to listen. Truly blessed to have you in my life. - Blessings, Love, and Light. January 2015
UPDATE: Hailey's 1 year testimonial! [New Mother & Yoga Instructor]
It has been just over a year since I went on the most transformative experience of my life so far, and Iboga adventure.
I feel as passionate about it now as I did the day of, if not more. The day after the journey I felt like a child on Christmas morning, so excited to open the gifts my soul had placed on my heart. They were gifts that were sitting there for a while, wrapped and hidden. I just had to give myself permission to dig them out and open them.
When we experience trauma and pain in our lives, we suppress our talents and gifts we naturally possess out of fear of rejection or simply because we believe we are not worthy of such greatness. We shrink.
Being a victim of child abuse, boy did I have it bad. I had such a bright light as a kid, but it had been smothered, over and over again. For decades I hid in a shell of fear and defeat, believing the lies I was told at a delicate age that I didn’t matter. Eventually, my life was defined by that belief and I constantly spoke to myself with such self loathing and hatred. It was of no surprise that the men I welcomed into my life were the result of those messages. Two birds with broken wings trying to teach each other how to fly. On and on the vicious cycle goes. Where attention goes, energy flows. More and more abuse. Something had to give. My fighting spirit knew things had to change. Did they ever!!
In preparation for my Iboga journey, I was asked to think of a few personal questions that I was seeking answers for. Honestly speaking, a lot of the questions I wrote down were rhetorical. Questions in which I had the answers to, but were so buried deep inside and I needed definitive specifics. I needed to be sure I was on the right path. I had worked hard in the last couple years to find healing, and was needing a sign.
Well, I received several inspirational visions that would forever alter my life as I knew it. It was almost like I was seeking the go ahead from my soul to move forward with my dreams and desires.
One of my questions was regarding my near future: Will I have children? Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted a big family of my own. Growing up with such abuse and dysfunction in the household though, I knew there was a lot of personal development needed in order to bring up a child in love. I had work to do, issues had to be resolved. During the Iboga Journey, my soul revealed to me that I would have three children, and I saw the portraits of them all.
Now, to backtrack slightly, my boyfriend and I at the time had run into problems recently and were on a break. I was having a hard time letting love in. Too busy listening to the opinions of others around me regarding the relationship and not enough time listening to my own spirit and to the desires of my heart. I learned on the journey the importance of honesty, communication, self love, and love for one another. Happiness is found in these lessons. I needed to stop fighting it and let love open my heart to a bright future that lies ahead.
Let Love in !!
Within the same year of the revelations through Iboga I gave birth to my first son, Ruca. It is absolutely astonishing what happens in life when we choose to be happy!
Since my Iboga journey I have smashed through so many barriers. I also went for my first 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training. A door I’ve been wanting to open for the last decade, but was so preoccupied with the hurt in my heart. Iboga taught me my potential to take action. It is the only way in which to grow is through change.
Sure, depressive triggers still show up, but I now finally have the strength to eliminate them once and for all. Every step gets easier. The key is to take the first step toward healing. When we listen to the call of our soul that so badly wants us to be whole again, great things happen. I am so grateful to have awesome friends, a solid family, and most of all a fighting spirit that is hungry for healing and change. It took work to be where I am. I was seriously so far gone getting eaten alive by depression.
Iboga showed me the power within my soul to reach out, speak up, and find what I truly desire within. Reach out and grab it!
It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. There are all kinds of emotional triggers involved in a history of abuse and trauma. I know now that I am no longer controlled by them.
Ultimately though, I make a choice every single morning to be happy and to remember the good that came from it all. I now have put the pain behind me and am stepping forward. My past does not define me.
I wrestled my demons, and I believe I am still here to help others do the same. I have found healing through awareness, through bringing light into the darkness and shining it bright so that others too may be led home.
Forgiveness has flooded the past. The sunshine of my soul shines in Ruca’s smile. A new beginning has arose and I am ever so grateful for the strength to carry on. It has been said that true freedom is in a heart that knows no fear. We’ll just say I’m well on my way..
Trio of Opium Users Desperate for a fresh start
My husband, his best friend and I were all heavily addicted to Opium. We had been using for the past eight years…it progressively had gotten worse. We tried everything to break free. I heard about Iboga through internet research. I remember a doctor laughing at me when I asked if she could prescribe Ibogaine for my addiction- as I had heard great things over the internet. I later found out how expensive traditional ibogaine clinics were, however, I am a force to be reckoned with when I want something bad enough and I including my using comrades wanted out in a bad way-we were beyond weary of living in the grips of addiction.
Late 2014 were fortunate to find Mark and Robyn. We set the date and cleared our schedules. We were sick and scared of the process ahead of us. The detox process with iboga was difficult and uncomfortable, however, Mark and Robyn guided us through it and cared for us with compassion and love.
Fast forward to a matter of days -My husband and I became pregnant with our second child! We were clean and our hopes of extending our family had come true. Our friend ‘A” was able to be honest for the first time with his fiancé and he told her how he had struggled with addiction but that now he was finally clean, they planned their wedding for the upcoming Summer with ease and joy. Fast forward some more to present day- I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful baby girl October 1st 2016…our son who is 4 who has lived through our addiction (starting at conception) now knows his parents to be clean, healthy and truly happy…he loves being an older brother more than anything. “A” is enjoying marital bliss with his beautiful wife and his business is thriving. We are not in the clear, there is still and will always be work to be done as well as integrity to be gained as far as healing the wreckage of our using past- but what makes today different is that it is actually possible. Iboga gave us the gift of removing the cravings long enough for us to get back on a spiritual path of growth towards light and love.
Our souls give thanks to the amazing medicinal healing powers of Iboga and to Mark and Robyn for the dedicated work they provide to help people in need tap into the light within. - Much Love, Candace and Family